Slowly What Starts Happening Isthey Become Rigid, Tough


i amreally honored and also kind of wierded out that you guys waited this long. alhamdulillah.jazaakallahu khair for waiting. if i sound a little out of it, it s probably becausei am giving 8 hours of lecture straight. alhamdulillah. and inshaallah ta ala i am here to just sharesome very brief thoughts with you about an important matter. something that doesn t comeunder much discussion now a days. but it certainly needs our attention. it certainly needs ourattention inshaallahuta ala the thing i want to talk to you about is a culture among youngmuslims who go on a certain religious journey especially in the western society. a lot oftimes muslim youth, live a life of partying
and then they have an affine sometimes intheir life. then they turn towards the religion. a lot of youth brothers/sisters have thischange of heart sometime in their life and they become more serious gradually about thereligion. but then what happens is, when they become more serious about religion, over timethey end up becoming very serious about their religion. very very passionate and they findthemselves a teacher. sometimes their teacher is a person. sometimes that teacher is a seriesof mp3 s/lectures. sometimes the teacher is a website. sometimes that teacher is a blog.some times that teacher is an anonymous screen name. whatever it is, in the end they findthemselves a source for taking they associate as the authentic source for taking knowledge.and when they do and become very passionate
about it, slowly what starts happening isthey become rigid, tough. they notice that the people around them are not the same wayas they are. they are not acknowledging the same teacher that they acknowledge. they arenot understanding the deen the way, they understand themselves. so what starts happening is first,they become frustrated with the people around them, specially their family. right! the youthstarts changing and the first people they become frustrated with is their own people.why don t you understand? this is the right way to follow the religion. and there is moreand more friction. this happens within the muslim families. even more so when you area muslim and your family is a non muslim. certainly even within your family if yourfamily is muslim too. but now you are kind
of rediscovering your religion on your own.right! so this friction develops. but it is not limited to the family either. what happensis that you have friends, who have always been friends. but those friends didn t takethe religious journey that you did or if they did, they didn t take the same journey thatyou did. their understanding is a little different or they are not as rigid about certain thingsas you are. they are not as tough about it as you are. and it becomes, harder and harderfor you to tolerate that so you start questioning them a lot more. when you come into contactwith people that don t see the things that you do, you make it a point to let them knowthey are wrong. that you are right. this is the way they should do things. there is noother way of doing things etc. this attitude
develops especially among youth. and thereare many reasons for this attitude. the youth himself/herself thinks they are doing [amrbil maroof nahya anil munkar]. they think that they are commanding the good, forbiddingthe evil. after all they are telling the brother/sister, a hadith or an ayah. they are telling himan ayah. they are doing the good thing. this is something they should be doing. this iswhat s going on in their head. what they don t realize however is that there is somethingmore going on. there is something else going on. you know before you become religious maybe, you are the center of attention among your crew. you are a thug, you are a gangor whatever. and when you turn to the religion, you no longer have that. but you need somethingstill. there is an urge inside you, to want
to show your domination over others. i wantto show people that i am in some way, shape or form, superior and in this devious waysometimes without even the person realizing it, most of the time they are telling peopletheir religious opinion. it is to show or expressing their superiority. you know, theywant to make sure the other person feels like they don t really know the religion. i knowthe religion. let me tell you how it s supposed to be. let me teach you the ayaah. let meteach you the hadith. don t you know it s this way or that way or the other way. sothe religion itself becomes the means by which you promote your own ego. s ironic becausethe religion was revealed so we humble ourselves. the deen came to humble ourselves. and nowwe are using that very deen to express our
arrogance. it is not just something that happensamong the youth by the way. this happens among elders too. you know on what occasion didiblis refuse allah azzawajal? he refused to make sajdah. right? what job was adam(as)going to get? what highe rldly honor. he wasn t given a higher salary, a big household.nothing of that stuff. he was just given a religious honor. so if you think about it,it is kind of weird. iblis was jealous of adam (as) over a religious honor. his egomanifested because he thought he was more qualified to serve allah s deen than adam(as).i am more qualified in this religious capacity. you know this arrogance manifests itself whensomebody says, i should be the president of the masjid. i am the right msa president.why did they pick him? why did they pick her
for this task? why didn t they pick me? thisis a religious task. you don t get money when you become a msa president! you don t geta new car when you run the masjid. but yet, you see across this country, people fightingtooth and nail over what? religious titles. who is in charge of the masjid? whose opinionshould be heard? why? this is a disease that started where? it is pretty old. that virusstarted with iblis. he is also vying for religious authority. this is a disease. at the heartof it, it is a disease. and one has to identify that disease if it exists inside them. whenthe attitude seeps inside you, thank god for me, if it wasn t for me, i don t know thesepeople would be so deviated. i am at least here to set them straight. if that s yourattitude, you have got a serious problem.
you really have a serious problem. becausenow you think that the deen depends on who? yourself!! deen doesn t need us. we need allahs deen. but allah s deen is in no need of us. r take care of my family? who is goingto pay the bills? if i don t do it who is going to do it? that thought comes in yourmind. right? but you know our time of death is written. whether you think you need tosave this much money, that much money or you need to get that promotion, whatever you needto do. you think what you need to do. but if allah decides i am gone tonight. if itis written, it s written. and you know what! after i go, my kids, my wife, my husband whoeverallah has already taken care of them. i should have never thought that, i was the one takingcare of them. i should have never thought,
i was the one taking care of them to beginwith. i wasn t one taking care of them. allah was!! he has been all along. i was deludingmyself into thinking that it depended on me. nothing depends on me. nothing depends onme. i am not the source of any good. allah is the source of all good. ego is the rootproblem. where does ego come from? the starting point is when someone doesn t truly appreciatewho allah is. when you don t appreciate who allah is you replace that with an appreciationof your own self. that s where it starts. that s where really the root of the problemis. so then first important point i want to make inshaa allah ta la is about the peoplethat wear the facade of the religion. they look religious, talk religious. they haveknowledge. may allah protect us from this.
it s a very serious problem. they look morepracticing than the other guy who doesn t have a beard. she looks more taqiyah thanthe other sister who doesn t wear hijab. they look more religious. their outwardly lookis good. but on the inside, there is an ego. on the inside, there is an urge to show yoursupremacy. you are more righteous, you are more qualified. you are in a better positionthan the other. and in your heart, if you look down upon another muslim, no matter whattheir condition is, then you this thing inside your heart called kibr (arrogance). we learnfrom the advice of prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that the one who has a mustard seed,which is basically you are saying an atom, a molecule, nothing. with that much of arrogancein their heart, jannah is not opened to them.
so what i am trying to say is, you have themuslim who does bad things. the guy drinks or whatever. he does some really bad stuff.his evil actions are outwardly. but your evil action is inwardly. on the outside, you lookgood. you look like you are doing alright his action is punishable for sure. you dont think yours is? and if you were to compare, (even though nobody is condoning his behavior)which is the bigger problem that is harder to fix? think about that. it s arrogance abigger problem to face. do you know why it s a bigger problem? it s because you can teven see it. at least his drinking problem, you could see it. there are things you cando to address him. but this problem in your heart, it s a hard thing to fix. because itis deep down inside and the only one who can
sense it is who? yourself. nobody can fixit. if it s in there, it s there. we cannot judge each other. when i am giving this talk,i can think of somebody who is pretty arrogant right now who would be listening to this.don t think of anyone else. that in and itself is a sign of arrogance. who should you isthinking of? yourself . the counsel of the religion is not for anybody else first. whois it for first? yourself. we have become desensitized that, the counsel of the quran , the counsel of the great words of the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallamthat counsel is for everybody else. they think, wait till i tell them what i just heard . butwho is supposed to here it first? who is supposed to internalize it first? yourself. you gotto think about that. we become very selfish
and self centered, self serving when it comesto allah s religion. you know the husband hears a hadith about the rights of the wifeor the rights of the husband. what is the first thing he does? hey, you know what iheard today, let me tell you. the parent, what is the first f attitude. it s a completelydifferent attitude. so this is the first problem , that i wanted to bring in your attention,something that only you can gauge in yourself. and nobody else can gauge that for you. butif that s there, no matter how much good is there on the outside of it, does it amountto anything? . because your heart is not sound. and allah says on the day of judgment, tipshow to tell if you have an ego problem. just some basic tips. if somebody corrects youand you get really offended, really like [how
can you say that to me bro? why would yousay it to me? who do you think you are? who does that guy think he is correcting me likethat?]. if that s your first reaction, then you have an ego problem. even if that guyshouldn t have said that to you, your first reaction should not be who is he to talk tome? you know what your first reaction should be? through this inappropriate comment allahis telling me something i should take heed of. may be there is some truth in it. ok!it s not 100% true. but is it little bit true? is it 1% true? is it a half a percent true?whatever of it is true, i should take it on myself. i should save myself instead of worryingabout who is he to talk to me that way is. don t develop that attitude in yourself. takethe good even from a bad advice. even in a
nasty comment. take the good from it. leavethe rest. it s ok! if you feel the need to interject in every conversation, if you feelthe need to have your opinion heard, no matter what, if you really get offended that youropinion was not taken in the end. you give your opinion. somebody else gives their opinion.but your opinion was not the final one taken, but somebody else s was. and you walk awayoffended. you got an ago problem. especially in matters of religion. the msa, the masjid,some people get together and they take some shu ra on what should they do. and you giveyour opinion. somebody else gives their opinion. in the end this shu ra is for the sake ofallah or no? right, isn t it? when you are doing work for a masjid, msa or what ever,it s for the sake of allah. so you gave your
opinion for whose sake? for allah s sake.you didn t give it for your own sake. you didn t give it to serve yourself. let us seeif my opinion comes out on top. that s not for what you gave it. if you did, you gota serious problem! so you give it for allah s sake. if you have already given it for allahs sake, it has already been counted on your favor. if you did that for allah s sake asincere opinion or council, then it s already counted on your favor. yes, you got the creditfor it already, whether the people take it or not, you already earned your credit. sothe fact that it is taken or not taken, it s no longer meaningful for you. because youalready got what you wanted. but if your intention wasn t for the sake of allah, guess what yougoing to get offended. you will say, no i
gave my opinion, so it ll be the supreme opinion.and that didn t come out, so i am offended. this is the easy way to check. nobody cancheck that for you. if you felt bad, then you can check for yourself. you have to checkyourself. these are exercises that are difficult to engage in. they are difficult to engagein. but you have to engage in them. so the first real problem is hidden ego. the outwardis religious and the inward is basically egotistical (an urge to show supremacy over the others).the second problem, that s again the outward is religious, the outward is good, knowledgeable,good speech, good clothing, the outward is great but what happens on the inside is #firstproblem: the heart becomes egotistical. #second problem: the heart becomes hard. you are nolonger moved by allah s words or when you
hear qur an. it has been long time since youcried in salaah. it has been long time since your heart felt something. you hear it allthe time and the thing that crosses your mind is that, i already know this. i don t needto hear this. i already heard this stuff. i already know what he is going to say theonly thing that s going on in your mind when salaah is going on is, that qalqalah couldhave been a little better. that madd was not long enough. right? that ghunnah i don t knowabout that one. that s all is going on in your salaah. you know what it is an indicationof? its good tajweed but a tuff heart. right! you have got good tajweed but your heart hasbecome hard. the words of allah swt are not enough to shake you. they don t move you likethat. you just pass by them. and then the
knowledge keeps increasing. in your publiclife, you look very devoted to the religion. but in your private life when nobody elsesees you, this really evil person comes out. this person who has certain behavior, whodoes certain things that you would never imagine this person would be doing those things. whenyou look at their appearance, when you look at their public face, you would never thinkthat person in your public life. but in their private life, they look like someone elsewhen they are by themselves, they almost turn into someone else. when they are by themselves,they turn into someone else. someone you wouldn t even recognize. so there is this monsterinside, who has got serious issues. but on the outside it is a great person. nobody canfix that for you because nobody even knows
that exists. it s only all inside you. # firstproblem is # second problem is heart that becomes hard. these are both spiritual problems.rather the problems of the heart. aren t they? right. and the only one who can gauge thisis who? yourself. towards the end inshaa allah ta la, there will be some tips to fix thisstuff. i want to wrap this second point quickly about the heart becoming hard. allah azzawajalsays in the ayaah of surat al hadeed which i recited. allah is talking to the peopleof the book and then he talks about us. he says, muscles become loose and weak, thats actually khushoo . you feel weakness in them. you feel like an overwhelming sense,an overpowering feeling. right? allah swt says, their hearts should feel overpoweredand weakened by the fear of allah. by the
remembrance of allah. isn t it time yet forthe believers that their hearts should feel like that, because of remembering allah? sbecame hard. after a long period of time their religion just became a routine, somethingthey just do. something that s just there. it is just they are doing because they areused to doing it. but it s not something that moves their heart anymore. their hearts havebecome hard. and once your heart becomes hard; it s easy for you to become corrupt. thereforethe next part of the ayaah claim to believe. and how their hearts become hard. and if that s what yousense inside yourself, if that s what you sense, which no one can gauge that for you,i once again say that. no one can gauge it for you. the only one who can gauge that foryou is yourself . no one else. how humble
you are before allah? how humble you are beforeothers? we can t gauge that, you know, except for yourself. if you find yourself in a hopelessstate, when you feel that your heart in fact has become hard and you have developed thissort of a problem where sometimes, the religious personality or the appearance of the religiouspersonality is very intimidating. it s hard to talk to them. you are scared to be aroundthem. you know, because you are going to be taught down about something. right! you areafraid, that lots of time sisters that don t wear the hijaab a lot of times cross thestreet the other way. oh! here she comes again the hijab police. or she is going to tellme something. she is going to make me feel bad. right! on one hand, that is paranoia.but on the other hand sometimes it is true.
there are people that are condescending toothers. they are arrogant towards others. tell me this, weren t you a party animal nottoo long ago? and when people try to tell you about it, how did you behave towards them?did you forget where you came from? how far allah brought you. right! people forget that.people forget where they used to be and where allah brought them. years later, they seesomeone who is a party animal and s were at the edge of the fire yourself. and then you got pulled back.it wasn t because of you. it s not because you are really a smart person. and that swhy you deserve to be pulled back. whose favor was it to you? allah s favor to you. so howdare you look at somebody else and think like that? right! this arrogance is a horriblething. it ll wipe out all the goodness out
of you. it ll wipe out all the goodness outof you. and it is most of the time our youth who end up into heated debates about whateverit be whether the theology issues, it s a fiqhi issue, if it s a msa presidency issue.i don t care what the issue is. doesn t even matter. you know usually what the root problemof debate is, it is . really it is a big ego . that s all it is. people talking about scholarslike they are talking about some athlete. you know that guy? i don t like what he says.excuse me!! do you know what journey he made for the sake of allah? even if you disagreewith them. the fact that he left his home, whoever that scholar is, then traveled halfway across the world to seek knowledge. and spent nights and nights and nights praying,memorizing and studying. you are just going
to pass a comment on him? like, i don t likewhat he says. i think he is a deviant . how dare you? what have you done? what puts youin that position to be able to say that? and you know if you disagree with a muslim andyou think they are wrong, what should be your first attitude towards them? should you passa verdict on them that they are headed to hell or should you genuinely be concernedfor them? and if you are genuinely concerned for them, you wouldn t talk to anybody elseabout them. then who would you talk to? themselves. you would go and talk to them. if there wouldbe sincerity in you, you would address their concerns to them. not to anybody else. butthis shows lack of sincerity, this shows ego. it shows you have got your team and you havegot voting for your side. you just going to
make comments about others. immature arrogantegotistical . this is what it is. now if that s the state what we have reached. now we arecoming to the part of remedies. first of all, the first remedy is hope itself. hope isnt lost. allah azzawajal in the next ayah, so beautiful, subhanallah, he says, lamu , youhad better know, anna allaha yuhyee alarda baaada mawtiha , allah gives no doubt thatallah gives life to the earth after it had died. allah was talking about the hearts inthe previous ayah, what s he talking about now?, giving life to the earth. allah is tellingyou if allah can bring life out of the dead earth, he can give life to your heart again.your heart can become soft again. it s not beyond hope. qad bayyanna lakumu alayati laaaallakumtaaaqiloon clarifying the miraculous signs
so that you can understand. you get the point?there is hope for you. you can get your heart cleansed. it is possible. you know, if allahcan bring the life back to heart, now, the heart back to life. so, the remedies now.what are the remedies? how do you fix yourself? how do you fix the ego problems you have?the first big problem that helps you cleanse your heart out is the remembrance of allah.that s the first thing you have to address. how often do you remember allah azzawajal?and remembering allah is not just saying clich d things like, you know, just the adhkaaryou memorise, subhanallah, alhamdulillah, allahu akbar, la ilaha illallah allahu akbarand you do some dhikr, these are incredible adhkaar. they are from the sunnah of the prophetsallallahu alayhi wasallam but if they are
thoughtless, if you didn t put any thoughtin them, if you didn t reflect upon them, then that s not dhikr. that s just good review.that s all that is. you know what alhamdulillah means? all credit goes to allah, all praiseis for allah. allah should be thanked and he should be praised for everything. so, youare having a tough day, what do you say? alhamdulillah. not only do i thank allah, i also praise him.whatever s happening must be good and so good that i thank him for it. and not just thati thank him for it, i also praise him for it. what an awesome thing you did! in lightof your, jazakallahu khairan, very nice of you, despite your, you know, troubles yousay alhamdulillah. but when you mean it, it s something else. you are really rememberingallah. and, you know, this hamd of allah,
giving credit to allah, what does that teachyou about yourself? whenever something good you accomplish, when you think you ve accomplishedsomething good, what are you supposed to say? alhamdulillah. who did you actually give creditto? allah azzawajal. but you do that form your, you don t just say, somebody comes toyou and says, great khutbah! you say, alhamdulillah. yes, i know . that alhamdulillah is not reallyalhamdulillah. that s more about yourself than anybody else, right? you have to learnto be uncomfortable with praise. you should be uncomfortable with praise. you should bequick to thinking of giving credit immediately to allah and at the same time, to put yourselfdown. you don t know brother, you don t know. i don t think you should say that. you dont know what i am really like. allah knows.
just make dua for me, that s it. i don t needyour praise. i need your dua. i don t need you to thank me. sister, i don t need youto tell me that the other sister says, you are such a good , you know, i don t need tohear that from you. that doesn t help me. that actually hurts me because when somebodytells me how good i am, what does that boost? my ego. right? and that is the biggest problemyou can ever have. so, nobody s doing anyone a favour by praising them. and one last thingto add to that, is about humility. when somebody comes and talks real nasty to you, right,and they are condescending to you, it s a good way to put your ego down. so, they mayhave even done you a favour. that may have been. they think they have won over you butmaybe that s a message from allah, maybe that
s a gift from allah, to give you the giftof humility. maybe that s what it is. this is what ibn taymiyyah rahimahumullah usedto say when someone offends me, i think it s a gift from allah that he is putting, heis teaching me humility . subhanallah. it s a different attitude. then, learn to servepeople, for the sake of allah. give to the, you know, a lot of times, people get burntout. this is the last thing i want to say about, religious folks, especially youth.they do so much activity. they join an organization. they join a group. they join a masjid. theyjoin whatever program and they are fired up and they are burning themselves out, rightafter this program, left and right, and left and right. and eventually, you know what happens?they get burnt out. they get completely burnt
out. and when they are burnt out, they arenot able to recover from that again. keep a balance. take it easy. you don t have todo everything in the one weekend. you don t have to do everything is one summer. its ok. you can do, keep it gradual. keep up with it, insha allahuta ala. but when youdo things for the sake of allah and you get frustrated that you are not seeing resultslike you know, this talk. i was invited and i said, ok, ok, i ll come. sunday night, noproblem . why not come saturday night? nobody is going to be here. you know what my firstreaction was? so what? i am not coming here for you. why am i coming here? there is abigger reason. you are not paying me, who s paying me? right? so, if there s one personhere or a hundred people here or there s no
one here, did i already get my credit if ihad the right intention? i did, if i had the right intention. why did you come here? ifyou came here because your friends are coming, you got nagged into coming, because your rideisn t leaving, so you are stuck here, haha, then you got nothing. but if you were here,say if your intention was, i am going to remember allah tonight, i am going to come closer toallah azzawajal tonight. did even the wait, when nothing s going on here, even did thatcount in your favour? change of attitude change of intention, right? it will help you so muchin life because when you do things, you ll pass out the flyers, and you will invite peopleand nobody will show up and you l say, argh, people don t listen . you won t be frustrated.you know why? why were you passing out the
flyers? why were you sending the invitations?where did you put the expectations with? your job is the effort. his job is the results.you are not in charge of the results. when you internalise that, life becomes so mucheasier. and you become more satisfied with yourself. you don t become frustrated. no,there very only a few people there. there could ve been more. yes, there could ve beenmore. but that s in the hands of allah. did i do my part? did i make enough effort? thats the only question to ask. were my efforts seriously for the sake of allah? that s thequestion to ask. these things i bring up because intentions are not something you make once.there was one time in your life, you made the intention you are going to serve allahs religion. you are going to become a better
muslim. you made that intention but that intentioncan get rusty. so, you gotta keep going back. you gotta keep fixing it. and you know, everybodyelse thinks your intention is strong cos they only see what, the outside. what don t theysee? the inside. and because they see the outside, they tell you, you are pretty good,man . and you start believing them too. so, you are only making the problem worse foryourself. the first remedy was, remembering allah. the second remedy, find better company.find company of people that are better than yourself. the third remedy, important remedy,learn to keep your mouth shut. learn to keep your mouth shut. if you see something reallybad, find a humble way of giving advice to a muslim. think, are the words i am goingto say to them, are they going to make them
even more, you know, averse to the religion?or should i find some loving, soft way of slowly pulling them back, without compromisingthe principles, but am i, can i bring them closer to the deen, maybe change of company,maybe change of scenery, maybe if they heard a little bit of advice. you don t want tochange their behaviour at first, you want to change what first, their heart. once theirheart changes, they ll change automatically. most of the time we go after people afterwhat, after their behaviour. you can t change people s behaviour. you can only remind them,and hope that allah changes their hearts. right? your job is to remind. fathakkir, themessenger used to see people doing shirk, people doing kufr, and allah is telling him,year after year after year, fathakkir in nafaaaati
alththikra remind them, reminder will havebenefit. the man, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, is doing da wah to the same bunch of reallybad people for 10 years. allah keeps telling him, remind. it s going to have benefit remind.it s going to have benefit . you remind someone, it doesn t have benefit, you know what yousay, i reminded him. he doesn t listen, huh that guy is not going to benefit from reminder. look at the seerah of the messenger. how often does he remind, sallallahu alayhi wasallam? and allah keeps telling him, you know you may not see the benefit. you may not seethe benefit. but is there still benefit? there is . and who is the first benefit who benefitsfrom sincere reminder? the one who gives the reminder. who is it benefitting first? you,yourself. because you are accepting that,
the words are coming from you but the effectwill come from where? from allah azzawajal. your words didn t have any effect. then, maybethere was something wrong with who? first reaction would be there is something wrongwith him. he doesn t listen to me . that s not your first reaction. you know that themessenger, alaihisalaatu wassalaam, this is the last comment i ll make. when he gave adviceto the, when he gave da wah to the people and they didn t accept, one of the thoughtsthat crept into the messenger s mind was, maybe i am not doing my job right. maybe icould ve said it better . and allah azzawajal reminds him, no, no, no, no. you are doingyour job right. you are doing what you are supposed to do. you just keep warning, youjust keep reminding. don t worry about the
results. just keep doing what you are supposedto do. do what you are supposed to do you know, along these lines, the last ayah thatcame to mind, i should share it with you because it s important in this insha allahuta ala.2 ayaat, one from shura, one from surat shura, surah number 42 and another ayah in whichthe messenger is given advice, in surat aal e imran, two ayaat. in surat as shura, wamatafarraqoo illa min baaadi ma jaahumu alaailmu baghyan baynahum they didn t disagree witheach other until after knowledge came, they didn t disagree with each other until afterknowledge came, so, who s disagreeing now? knowledgeable people. knowledgeable in what?knowledgeable in what? science, physics, chemistry, biology? what are they knowledgeable in? thereligion. knowledgeable in the book. knowledgeable
in the sunnah. and what are they doing afterthat knowledge? falling into disagreement. why? allah gives the reason too. baghyan baynahum.out of an urge to dominate over each other. they had this urge, they want to feel superiorand what s their weapon by which they feel superior? knowledge of the religion. theyturned that into a means by which they can inflate their ego. subhanallah. what a horriblecrime! it s that ayah by which allah azzawajal, in the end, he say, walawla kalimatun sabaqatmin rabbika ila ajalin musamman laqudiya baynahum had it not been that a time had been appointedfor them, from ahead of time, meaning had it not been that allah had already decidedwhen they will be punished, their matter would have been deal with immediately. they wouldhave been punished right away. this is a high
crime. this is a high crime that they aredoing. he was using the weapon, the knowledge as a weapon, to disagree with each other,not for any other sincere reason except ego, the horrible, may allah protect us fro thatcrime. aameen. especially, our youth, man. youth culture in this country. you are playingball, somebody blocks your shot, what happens? the next play, you better avenge and reviveyour dignity because the tribe will look down upon you. right? does this happen, cultureof how dare you, against e? it s not just a sport. it s a test of ego. right? somebodycuts you off on the road, what gets enraged? you! with your honda civic! passed me by!me, with the m5. no, no. i will show you. i will express y supremacy very, very soon.i am going to floor it and how you how its
done. what is that a show of? ego. constantly,in our culture, we are being sent the message, inflate your ego. it s all about you. it sthe, you know, the songwriter, the singer, my chain, my hat, my shoes, my socks, whatever.all me, me, me. you cant touch me. you cant look at me. you cant look at me in the eye.im going to do this to you and then i am going to do that to you. what is this about? whatsthe whole message? ego. worship of the self, that s all it is. that s really what it boilsdown to. and this deen is only a deen for those who humble themselves before allah.right? that s a very, very important message of this ayah. the last ayah, aal e imran.and especially for those who are in a position of leadership. those of you that others lookup to. those of you who know and think even
that you have more knowledge than others.allah tells his messenger, sallallahu alayhi wasallam fabima rahmatin mina allahi lintalahum walaw kunta faththan ghaleetha alqalbi lainfaddoo min hawlik . it is by the specialfavour and mercy of allah that you, sallallahu alayhi wasallam, are lenient towards the,meaning the sahabah. it s a special mercy from allah, that you, sallallahu alayhi wasallam,are lenient towards them. walaw kunta faththan ghaleetha alqalbi if you were tough, harshof the heart, if you were stiff with them, if you were arrogant towards them, even ifyou were rough around he edges when you actually talk to them, you know stern with them lainfaddoomin hawlik ..they would have dispersed away from you. they, whos they? the sahaabah wouldhave ran away from you, whos you? the messenger,
sallallahu alayhi wasallam. can you imagine?the sahaabah running away from the prophet. allah didn t say, if you didn t call to thetruth, they would ve run away if you stopped teaching them qur an, they would have runaway if you didn t present the wahy, they would run away . what would the messengerdo that would make them run away? he s still teaching qur an, he s still giving the truth,everything s the same, what s the only thing that s changed in the ayah that would makethem run away? he s tough to them, he s harsh with them. that would be enough and they wouldrun away. subhanallah. what a message allah is teaching his messenger sallallahu alayhiwasallam. if that s the message the most amazing leader, you don t thing it applies most tous. it applies enormously, if you are in any
position of leadership, and if i was to askfor a show of hands, don t raise your hands, rhetorically, if i was to ask for a show ofhands, how many people are in a position of leadership? you know what, all of you shouldbe raising your hand. you are all in a position of leadership. you are all in a position whereyou should be able to give counsel to someone and that s fine. but how do you give thatcounsel? especially, if they are muslim. instead of making them averse to the religion, learnto be a little more tolerant. t justify wrong behaviour. that s not what i am saying atall. if you see some haraam, call the spade a spade look, this is haraam. i really amworried about you. there s ways of saying it, right? you know you are going to hellfor doing that, right? that s one way of saying
it. man, you should be ashamed of yourself. that s one way of saying it. bro, i m really worried about you. seriously, why? you knowit s bad. and i love you, man. why do you do it? you need help? or, really, just stop,man. let s talk about it. sincere, yahmukallah. right? sincerity. it shows, you know. theway you talk to people, it shows if you are sincere or your just trying to, just, youknow, pass comments on them. you know, just put them down. there s a difference. a differencein how we talk. athillatin aaala almumineen. they are humble, powerless when they presentthemselves to believers. that s the attitude in the qur an. but then, finally, how do youknow for sure you are sincere? it s in the ayah and we are done. in that same ayah, faoaafuaaanhum waistaghfir lahum washawirhum fee
alamr after they mess up, and you are lenienttowards them, after they mess up, number one, forgive them, lovingly (fa aafu anhum), then,after that, ask allah to forgive them. you know, asking allah to forgive them is that,some brother does something bad and you say, hey! by the way, may allah forgive you .thats not fastaghfir lahum. when should you ask allah to forgive them? when you are askingallah to forgive yourself. in private. because the private dua is what? sincere. that s sincere.in front of everyone, by the way, bro, you are pretty messed up but may allah forgiveyou. i ll make dua for you . that s not what the ayah is saying. that s actually a showof what? arrogance. ego. make sincere dua for them in private, fastaghfir lahum. andto make them feel like you think of them as
a decent person, washawirhum fee alamr, consultthem, take their opinion, ask their opinion, treat them like a decent person. the messenger,sallalhu alayhi wasallam, doesn t need anybody s shoora. he makes decisions based on revelation.allah commanded him to consult them in decision making. why? so, they would feel what, included,dignified. this is the characteristics of a leader. right? he makes those who are underhim, feel dignified. faoaafu aaanhum waistaghfir lahum washawirhum fee alamri faitha aaazamtafatawakkal aaala allah. when you make a decision, place your trust in allah because your decisionis not the key to success, it is allah that is the key to success. inna allaha yuhibbualmutawakkileen. allahummajalna minal mutawakkileen. may allah make us from those who place ourtrust in allah azzawajal. may allah keep,
not allow our hearts to become hard. may allahmake us a people sincerely of dhikr to allah. may allah grant us the gift of better companythan ourselves that keeps our ego in check. may allah give us the ability to give adviceto those around us, the people of la ilaha illallah, the people who share this wonderfulkalimah with us, are more beloved to us and closer to us than even the bond of blood.la ilaha illallah brings us closer than the bond of blood. and may allah azzawajal makeus share that love and affection and unity with the other muslim and show them that sincerityfrom the bottom of our heart. may allah azzawajal penetrate good advice into the hearts of thosewho need it. may allah azzawajal make us capable of taking advice, and taking the best of it,and not allowing the advice to become a means
by which our egos are inflated. may allahazzawajal keep us humble before him, forgive our shortcomings that have occurred in thepast, may allah subahanawata la from here on in, from here on make us of those whosehearts are perpetually being cleansed. and finally, i ask allah azzawajal, to acceptall of our gatherings including this one, to accept, you know, all of the good deedsand acts of worship that we do for him, with all of their shortcomings, and all of theflaws, even our salaah, our wudhu and our dua, all of the shortcomings aside, may allahaccept whatever patchwork we do, may allah accept, overlook all the shortcomings, andaccept from all of us. rabbana taqabbal minna innaka antasamiul aleem wa tub alayna ya maulanainnaka anta tawwabur raheem wa sallallahu
ta ala ala khairi khalqihi muhammadin wa alaalihi wa sahbihi ajmaeen wassalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. jazakumullahkhairan for this. i hope you don t have any questions at all. good. none on the sistersside, right? usually, that means a question. that s not good. sure. he h
degree. and then, rely on allah. there aretwo extremes. one extreme is, i m going to make all the efforts and all the results arein my hands. the other extreme is i m going to make no efforts and the results in allahs hand. these are two extremes. they both have diseased attitudes. what s the rightattitude? i am going to make whatever effort i can, to the best of my ability, while knowing,the results are in allah s hands. that s the balanced attitude. ok? no questions, rightsisters? this is great. there is a question? oh no, that s usually bad. walaikum assalam.go ahead, sister. ah, i thought that s what i just did but ok. ah, yeah. if somebody comesacross as, saying that they are more intelligent than, i don t think, those kinds of peopleshould be advised. by you. talking to you
like that. i think, better to get them advisedby elders or other peers. because, if they are talking like that to you, then, you tellthem, i don t think you should talk to me like that or whatever, you are just goingto create more antagonism. sometimes, its good to get a third party. to, maybe in asubtle and careful way, throw.. and the other thing is, this is what i learned, there issometimes theres wisdom you learn from elders there is this personal story. a brother ina masjid i know. most of my best friends are really old people. in their 70s and 80s. right.this really old gentleman and we used to be at the masjid everyday. and there was a fightin the masjid. there was a nasty fight. you ve seen one of those? pretty ugly, ok. so,these two guys just going at it and they are
really nasty to each other and you know, onebasically calls the other, dog, essentially. i am using watered down versions, ok. butanyway, this older gentleman, knows both of them.and stops talking to both of them. hes always nice. he says salaam to them. how are you and just walks away. usually, he likes,makes longer conversation. he s very cordial but he walks away. and you know, he s so wonderfulin his personality, those people they feel it. they feel like he doesn t talk to us likehe used to anymore. so, one day, one of them, this happened in front of me, one of themjust came up to him and says, you know, you don t talk to me like you used to. are youmad at me? he says, no, i have had no issue at all . he says, but you don t talk to methe same way . he goes, yes, i don so, why
don t you? he says, look, i saw you get angrywith that other brother the other day and i just got scared. maybe one day you ll getangry at me. i wouldn t want you to be angry at me. so, i am just trying to be safe . like,he put it in such a soft way, and the guy felt so bad, he went and apologized to theother brother and they made up. right. that s the wisdom of an elderly person. you know,they know how to approach things. this sometimes, it s our demeanour towards people. you know,you can show some people , you can show someone that they have hurt your feelings withoutactually saying it. you show it with a sort of distant demeanour. and if people use hurtfulwords towards you, my advice is to distance yourself from them. in a respectful way, still.we don t cut relations in islam. we don t
do that. we don t cut ourselves off from people.but it s a healthy thing to distance yourself from someone who uses abusive language towardsyou. that s the healthy things to do. and if there s any ounce of good in them, theywill feel it. right? and they will come to you and say, whats happening? why are younot talking to me? but if there s no good in them, guess what. they ll say, ha, goodfor them. good for me. i don t want to talk to you anyway . so, that s probably good forboth of you. right? but distancing yourself is probably my best advice.